5 Myths about Therapy

There are numerous myths and misconceptions about therapy based on its portrayal in the media, outdated information, and a general lack of understanding regarding what therapy entails. Many of the myths are very "cringe" for those of us working in the mental health field, so I thought I'd take some time to review and refute a few:

1. Therapists get paid to listen. While it is accurate that part of our role is to actively listen to those in our care, this represents only a small piece of the work we do. Therapists are typically masters- or PhD-level clinicians who have amassed years of formal education and training in order to develop and hone clinical skills. We draw from a variety of therapeutic approaches, strategies, and evidence-based treatments in order to produce measurable and meaningful results for those we serve. We also spend time reviewing and reflecting upon sessions, writing treatment plans, and completing other behind-the-scenes work in order to better serve you. Do we listen? Yep! Do we only listen? Absolutely not.
   

2. You are "just a number" or "just a paycheck" to your therapist. It is true that therapy is our livelihood and that we do need to receive payment for the work we do in order to get by, but very few therapists enter the field for the purpose of monetary gain. The bottom line is that we care about people and want to help them. We reflect on our work with clients in our free time; we are reminded of clients throughout the week when we hear certain songs or stumble across relevant memes; we share in clients' joy and accomplishments; sometimes we even shed tears with and for clients. The therapeutic relationship is professional in nature, but it is real.
   

3. Therapists have it all together and this makes them experts on mental/emotional wellbeing. Psychologist Carl Jung (1875-1961) coined the term "wounded healer" to describe the apparent tendency for some individuals who have experienced suffering to gravitate toward professions (therapists, nurses, etc.) which involve alleviating the suffering of others. Many therapists have struggled themselves, and this is one of the factors that commonly inspires a career in mental health; having weathered difficult times ourselves engenders empathy and understanding. Additionally, therapists are (traditionally) humans, and we encounter the same life stressors and blind spots as everyone else. For these reasons, many therapists are intimately familiar with being in the client's seat themselves; in fact, we are encouraged to attend our own therapy as a means of navigating personal issues, preventing burnout, and ensuring that we can be fully present for others.
   

4. Therapists psychoanalyze everyone in their lives. Believe me when I say that we do not want to work off the clock. So often, when I meet someone new and reveal my profession, I am met with recoil and an "Uh oh, I'd better be careful what I say, you'll psychoanalyze me!" Nope, I really won't, I promise. In our personal lives, therapists are just existing and interacting with others the same way as everyone else, and it would be exhausting and counterproductive -- not to mention unethical -- to evaluate the psyches of everyone we encountered!
   

5. Therapists will tell you what they think you want to hear in order to keep you coming back. Sadly, there is no shortage of prospective clients; we do not need to retain individuals on our caseloads for extended periods of time in order to make a living, so we will not work to keep individual clients coming back unless we believe it is in their best interests to do so. Additionally, building commitment to therapy for those who need it is not achieved by adopting a "yes-man" approach. As discussed above, our priority is helping people to feel well and to live fulfilling lives. To that end, we will tell you what we think you need to hear; sometimes, that may align with what you'd like to hear...but anyone who has worked closely with a skilled therapist will attest that therapy can -- should, even -- involve hard conversations.
   

So...what do you think? Have you encountered any of these myths/misconceptions yourself? If so, I hope this post will illuminate alternative perspectives and leave you with a more accurate (and potentially more favorable) understanding of therapy/therapists.

*All points expressed above represent my personal opinions and do not unequivocally represent the opinions/approaches of all mental health clinicians.

Welcome to Tea Light Counseling!

Allow me to introduce myself: I'm Nicole (call me Nicki if you like) and I find joy and fulfillment in working with individuals in the Greater Cincinnati area to achieve their personal mental health goals. I have worked in a variety of settings -- from residential to intensive outpatient, home-based, and group practices -- dating back to my practicum in 2013 and culminating in the decision to open my own private practice in January of 2022. I find that this newest setting allows me the autonomy and flexibility to focus my attention where it belongs: on providing the highest possible quality care for my clients.

What's in a Name?

Believe me when I say that choosing a name to represent my practice was no easy feat. People sometimes ask why I went with Tea Light Counseling, and there are a few reasons:

1. Candles introduce light, and my personal conceptualization of therapy involves a lot of illumination -- illuminating patterns, illuminating strengths, illuminating options/alternatives, etc.

2. Tea light candles seemed to me an accurate representation of my personality and therapeutic approach (modest and mild in some ways, spirited and powerful in others, quirky, and well-acquainted with darkness).

3. I simply like the way it sounds and the aesthetic it inspires.

And for the record: No, I did not choose a name with the initials TLC on purpose.

On the Opening and Closing of Doors

Another, broader question I am asked with fair regularity is why and how I chose to pursue a career in clinical mental health counseling.

Truthfully, I never intended to become a therapist. When I applied to colleges during my final stretch of high school, and for the first year of my undergraduate experience, I planned to pursue journalism. I liked writing (probably unsurprising given my choice to start a blog) and figured there was not much else I felt particularly impassioned by, so why not? Meanwhile, somehow unrecognized by me at the time, I was eating up books and movies with themes of mental illness and recovery.

Somewhere in the gap between my freshman and sophomore years of college, amidst late summer nights spent playing The Sims 2 and watching reruns of Trauma: Life in the ER, I had an epiphany: I wanted to do something with my life that involved directly helping others. Writing was fun, and it wasn't enough for me. After some self-reflection, I uncovered that I was interested in both mental and physical health, so I set about researching career options. Ultimately, I decided to change my major to psychology with the intention of attending graduate school for occupational therapy (defined as "a form of therapy for those recuperating from physical or mental illness that encourages rehabilitation through the performance of activities required in daily life").

My plan and pathway remained unchanged until, due to a series of unforeseen events leading up to my senior year of college, I learned that I would be moving to Cincinnati after graduating. As I began researching occupational therapy programs in the Cincinnati area, I quickly discovered that prerequisites differed across state lines and that I would likely need to adjust my established plan as a result; this prompted a massive reconsideration of my pathway forward, which ultimately lead to my stumbling upon clinical mental health counseling as an alternative career option. My immediate reaction -- why didn't I think of this sooner? -- told me everything I needed to know, and the rest was history.

As things stand, if there is such a thing as a calling, I truly believe that I have found mine in the type of work I do.

tl;dr I never planned to be a therapist, and now I'm a therapist and I love it.

Ready, Aim, Fire

Here's the bottom line: With Tea Light Counseling on the ground and the dust (mostly) settled, the plan is to begin utilizing this blog space as a means of reaching clients, their loved ones, and perhaps the occasional "rando" via posts pertaining to mental health, wellness, and the therapeutic process. May you find hope, insight, inspiration, and encouragement herein!